Should Children of the Opposite Sex Share a Bedroom?

Q.

Is there a law about opposite sex children sharing the same room?

My ex has my daughter every other weekend and his new girlfriend has two boys aged 8 and 10. He is now taking my daughter there and she is 7 in October - but they are all sleeping in the same bedroom.

A.

There’s no law in existence which governs children of different sexes sharing rooms in privately owned homes. It’s up to the home owners / parents to sort out bedrooms and sleeping areas and make sure all children are well catered for in terms of sleeping arrangements. Many children share bedrooms with their siblings and step- brothers and sisters and don’t experience any problems (bar the occasional fall-out, as is normal with children!). If there was a law in place, it could be very difficult for people who are unable to buy a bigger home due to lack of money.

However, if the house is rented and owned by a housing association, sometimes they do have rules and regulations in place concerned with how many children, and which sex of children, can sleep in any one bedroom. For example, they may state that after the age of 10, different sexes of siblings shouldn’t share a room. If this applies in this instance, then it would be best to contact the relevant housing association for information and to discuss the circumstances.

If you’re still really concerned about the sleeping situation when your daughter stays with your ex and his girlfriend, then perhaps it may be a good idea to speak to them about it. It’s also important to consider what your daughter feels about the sleeping arrangements and whether she gets on okay with the two boys.

It’s certainly true that when children reach a certain age and enter puberty, they may feel happier having more privacy and sleeping elsewhere. This would be especially so if your daughter felt uncomfortable being in the room with two older boys, especially if she doesn’t know them that well and they’re not blood relatives. Perhaps there may be another room in the house where she could have a put-up bed or sofa bed, instead of sharing with the two boys?

However, if she’s only staying for short periods of time – e.g. one or two nights – and is comfortable with the situation, then it’s up to you, and your ex’s discretion, to sort out the sleeping arrangements.

The main thing is that everyone involved is happy with it, so do try and have a chat with your ex and your daughter.

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